


The Death of Dean Winchester

by northwesterndownpour



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (not really but more or less you'll see), Castiel Dies, Death, Depressing, Emotionally Repressed Dean, Everybody Dies, Gen, Human Castiel, Hurt Castiel, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Sad Dean, haha why did i do this there is no happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-07
Updated: 2014-05-07
Packaged: 2018-01-23 20:38:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1578797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/northwesterndownpour/pseuds/northwesterndownpour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"This was never supposed to happen. I'm so sorry, Cas..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Death of Dean Winchester

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually not sure why I wrote this... If you're looking for fluff or anything even remotely happy here (which I don't know why you would be if you saw any of the tags or description), turn back now. If you want to read something like this, well... enjoy.

  

 

“Cas… Cas, no. Not here, not now, this _wasn’t supposed to happen._ ” Dean held Cas against him as the inevitable slowly, agonizingly, happened. Blood poured from the stab wounds in his stomach and chest, each one like a tiny black hole and all Dean wanted to do was disappear into one if it would take him to eternal oblivion.

Cas lifted his head to look at Dean with the last of his energy.

“Dean…”

“Cas, don’t. Save your energy, you’ll need it; we’re getting out of this mess.”

“Maybe you’ll get out, but you know I’m never going to.” Cas said hoarsely. The truth of the words hit Dean and he had to close his eyes for a second to stop the tears. He didn’t trust himself to speak, but he knew he had to. His voice broke as he did.

"Sam’s driving here as fast as he can. We—we’ll get you to a hospital, they’ll fix you, I’ll take care of you… You better not die on me now, Cas, come on… Just a few more minutes.”

The man who had once been an angel opened his mouth slightly, attempting to reply, but all that came out was a trickle of blood slowly escaping from the corner of his mouth. He stared at Dean desperately, as if trying to tell him something. But he couldn’t tell what it was.

"Cas,” He choked on the word. “Cas, you’re still here, I’m still here. You’ll be fine soon, just wait until we get to the hospital,” His hand rested on Cas’s neck, feeling his pulse, still there. But getting fainter with every fluttering beat.

Then he heard a noise, all but lost in the whispering of the leaves in the trees above them.

“ _I love you, Dean.”_ And Dean opened his mouth to reply just as Cas’s pulse started to deviate.

_Beat._ “I love you too, I love you so much…

_Beat._  “…and you never knew, and I need you, Cas—

_Beat._ “…I need you, just stay with me for one more minute…”

_B—_ Nothing. Dean thought he saw blackness closing in on his vision and _no this can’t be happening this isn't happening I’m dreaming this can’t be real but it is no nononono no  no    no    no…_

_“C a s.”_ He couldn’t have stopped the salt water streaming down his face now even if he cared about it. “Cas, you’re fine, you’re going to be fine,” He looked at Cas’s face, his closed eyes, and if he looked hard enough Cas was only sleeping.

The familiar sound of the Impala behind Dean startled him. He saw the blurred form of his brother running towards him but it was only another image in the background, behind a veil, the only thing that felt like here and now to Dean was the dull ache in his chest and his head. The rest of his body was either numb or he just didn't care anymore.

He was dimly aware of Sam shaking him and asking him what happened, if he was okay. Why wasn't he bringing Cas to the Impala as fast as he could, driving him to the hospital, they were losing time… He somehow found the strength to look up at Sam and voice the thought. Sam stopped and put his hands on Dean’s shoulders, looking him in the eye.

“Dean, Cas is dead.” His brother’s face, the lines of sadness built up from all those years of bad luck, was more broken than he had ever seen it. But Cas couldn’t be dead. That… wasn’t possible.

“Come on, we have to get him to a hospital…” But he trailed off.

He had known from that last beat of Cas’s heart. The thought that had been pushed to the back of his mind until now made itself clear.

_It’s my fault. Cas died because of me._

It was all too obvious.

Sam was saying things to him, trying to reassure both of them, but at this point he couldn’t care less. After a minute Sam left and walked back to the Impala, coming back with a large sheet, and tried to cover Cas with it. Dean tried to push him away but didn’t have the strength of will anymore to stop him.

It was all a blur after that. Sitting in the Impala unable to feel anything, laying in his bed until Sam brought him out to the edge of the forest a day and a half later. For a minute he didn’t register why a bonfire was building up in their backyard. But then he saw Cas, the edges of the sheet just starting to curl up and burn away. He couldn’t bring himself to look at his best friend’s body being reduced to ashes in front of him. For a brief time the numbness went away, only to be replaced with far more pain, which was worse. After that he remembered Sam’s tortured face, begging him to say something, to eat or drink anything. But it didn’t matter, none of it did.

He only lived for the dreams. Dreams of Cas, always of Cas. Often they were nightmares, but it was worth it for the replays of the good memories, or when his mind constructed scenes of its own. One night he dreamed of Christmas. Sam and Cas were sitting with him in the bunker, and he remembered what it was like to feel alive. They might have been drunk, he didn’t know, and everyone was laughing and then Cas stopped with a glint in his eye and leaned close to Dean.

He heard a whisper in his ear, but it sounded so wrong, like a dying breath…

_“I love you, Dean.”_


End file.
